BLOG

Grace That Never Runs Out

This morning I am contemplating what it means to have a sound mind. I think a really huge part of it is to be slow and steadfast. Steadfast in mindfulness—that is just being fully connected to the present moment and taking our time to notice things. That really is a gift. Deep breaths are also important. Inhale, exhale and take life in for what it is worth. The deeper the breaths, the more thoroughly we can inhale life, and take in all of its beauty and mercies. Life is a gift.

I am tempted to recount all the things I’ve missed out on as I’ve found myself speeding mindlessly through life. Little things have slipped right through my fingers, and it is in the little things that I find the most grace. It is in the way that the bus arrives at my stop right on time. It is in the way that a roommate leaves folded laundry lying neatly on my bed after a day of errands and not feeling so put together really. It is in the way rain is in the forecast, but I forget my umbrella and so the heavens don’t burst open with dew until just moments after I arrive home. It is in these things that I slow down, count, and feel God’s grace constituting the very fabric of my life. He is a God that is most wonderful,  and endlessly gracious. 

What have we to mourn really when we realize that our God, big as he is, is ever-present in the little things? Perhaps a laundry-list of things to mourn even considering the fact of small blessings, but there he is, even in the tears. There he is writing the story, and weaving grace through the details. Jesus wept, even as we weep. He grew weary just as we did, and my hope lies in this: that he is still present in the form of the Holy Spirit comforting us, empathizing with us, knowing us. His grace never runs out.

Becoming a coffee snob-and a Blogger

To some of you this is going to sound lame. But, on this Memorial Day, I happen to have work off, and I find myself sitting in a coffee shop on South Broadway in Denver. I am across from a woman in her mid-twenties who is completely engrossed in her work, and may or may not know how she feels about the fact that I chose to occupy the seat across from her. These coffee snobs, I can tell, are totally used to occupying an entire booth at a time all to themselves, but I happen to be intent on making friends and I find that I never have been concerned with social norms. Breaking them often leads to opportunity.

There it is folks! I am living one of my dreams as a blogger. It is a rainy day, I am sitting in a tiny coffee shop with free wifi, and all sorts of eclectic decor on the walls. The dim lighting is cozy and not too much for my eyes. The people are friendly and most of them are here for the same purpose: to work, to enjoy the quiet, and to find some inspiration. The rain outside is just the icing on the cake. It makes things feel slower-paced and less rushed to get somewhere. The rain reminds me to sort of chill out if you will.

This is important because I thought it would take so long to get here. Up until now I have been writing blog posts on my iPhone, straining my thumbs to faintness. Since 2019 I have dreaming of the day that I would be able to pack up my pc and go sit for hours in a coffee shop. I figured I would meet like-minded people along the road, and while that has yet to happen, I know it is coming.

Thank you Lord for a brother who considers my needs and meets them.

“Love finds a need and meets it” — A Wise Man

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

When a man that once told me he would be by my side through my fiercest storms

Parts his lips to tell me he is leaving
because my mental illness

Is worse than what he’d pictured

The Joy of the Lord is my strength

When I see him hold her in pictures the way he used to hold me

only this time with a smile that tells me

He’s feeling something he never felt with me

The joy of the Lord is my strength

When I sit in the pews alone before my God,

look over my shoulder and don’t see him kneeling and praying

Next to me

The joy of the Lord is my strength

Who will hold my hand when I am anxious and say a prayer before anxiety turns into a panic attack?

Who will reply to my text message in the dead of night when I’m afraid:

“I love you and I’m here”?

It is a chapter closed, but I have not lost my soul

The Lord is still the lover of my soul, and in Him I am most perfectly love.

No one can take this from me.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

“The Joy of the Lord is your strength.” -Nehemiah 8:10