CREATIVE

He Came For Me

It is midnight somewhere 

And the relentlessness of rain and roaring rolls of thunder 

Are the only things reminding her that God is on the throne, that she is not alone

That somewhere in the thick layers of her burrito rolled body, nestled safely in that blanket 

Her heartbeat connects her to a divine heartbeat with an aerial view from heaven 

Oh

The sovereignty of God

The plans God has for her life Stretched bare across heaven like clouds of peace 

She is sweet 

But deep down deep

She 

recalls as she asks herself in the middle of this storm…

Why God should God  be mindful of me? 

Kids 

picking on her calling her every name in the book that exists to demean 

She wishes she could scream 

And just let go 

Of 

Things that seared her conscious In the freshness of youth 

Her young virgin ears quivered with shame

If only Momma didn’t feel the same 

Dang 

They were both buckled down under the oppression of 

Fat shaming 

And other insecurities 

There we’re too many things her

momma couldn’t make right 

Not with  

Fuming  anger, top teeth leaving indentations into bottom lip

Clenched fists 

Momma couldn’t make it right

Not with her propensity to fight fire with fire 

To 

Leave you more scared than the original offense 

To make you feel like she was your only defense 

Mechanism 

Momma be still 

Chill 

I can fight 

Momma It’s alright 

Momma hated those kids who snared…

Things my ego would be recovering from well into my

adult years 

Things like 

“You will never be worth anything” still echos in my mind 

As i behold the cross and wonder how he made a way, 

Why he made a way 

 he made a way for wreteched, wicked, unrepentant mankind 

Oh

The Love of God 

Oh he always shows up on time 

He leaves the 99 

He’s always working 

But He always makes time

Like Hagar….he sees you 

I was 12 when my mommma looked at me and realized I was becoming a woman 

It wasn’t sass, attitude or boy-craziness

And it wasn’t my full sized breasts, womanly figure or flirtatious crooked smile

I was strong

Except

Behind that eternal smile and crackling laughter 

was a FIGHTER  

I would not keep my mouth shut

Would fight back 

I would 

Get 

Out 

I RemEmeber 

The love of God in the form of

A trash bag full of belongings thrown on the concrete in Houston outside luxury apartments

Tall Buildings looming over me and reminding me that I was not welcome 

That I did not belong 

That

My first taste of rejection would be from my own blood…. 

That I would have to be strong 

And that it would be long

Before I would feel entirely loved

And Then 

Sacrificial love, reckless love 

Picked me up outside of a dicks sporting good 

Off of I 45 in Houston 

THE kindness of God 

How he sees me 

Oh how I’m still in awe of God 

Like that rain outside my window reminding me that his love comes in the form of storms 

I have no control 

Over the way the wind blows 

Over the strength of my soul 

But 

He loves me. 

And he knows

What I need. 

And he sees 

Like Moses in the wilderness 

Like Hagar in the desert 

Father be with me. 

And Help me 

To believe 

That you know the plans 

That you have for me. 

Amen