Underneath His Wings

“He who dwells under the shelter of the most high, shall abide under the shadow of the almighty.”

Psalm 91:1

On Wednesday September 2nd my dream came true as I moved into a two year recovery program for women seeking to rehabilitate themselves from a wide array of addictions, bondage, mental illness etc, with the personal goal to also draw near to the Lord, who is the great physician.

I personally battle with Major Depressive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Dissociative Disorder. I do not have an addiction, but saw fitnto join the program because of how thorough it is with the process of healing and because it lasts two years. That’s pretty neat! All three diagnoses have interrupted my ability to function and thrive well in society and have left me begging to only touch the hem of the Lord’s garment. I am grateful for the staff here and the peace that guards my heart every time I set foot on the property.

There are rules and regulation I must follow loving here, but are each designed for my freedom and wellbeing. For example: I cannot date. That seems pretty restrictive but is a sure sign that they mean business about healing, and that’s great because I’m just as a serious!

I thought I’d share some pictures of my cozy nook of a room in a this grand old 20th century home in downtown Denver.


I thank the Lord that after ceaseless panic attacks, flashbacks and pain, He made a way for me to come all the way from Texas to Colorado to heal, and enjoy the well spring of his peace. He is so loving. He is so gentle. He is so full of mercy and I am glad to be called his daughter.

I know that life will still present it’s challenges. This is not the end of suffering however, I feel the Lord wants to give me a break and equip me for whatever hardship I may face in the future. When we are armed with his love, tough blows do not leave permanent indentations of hollowness in our lives. The Lord fills us with his peace, and comforts us with his Holy Spirit.

To my friends:

Whoever you are that is out there suffering right now and wondering why you feel so lost in the thick of life and cannot seem to find the way out, know that God is in control, and He loves you!

Vibrancy

Lately I’ve just been thinking about the importance of refreshing the seasons. I don’t want to keep looking back and asking myself: “What worked yesterday?” So that I can do that again today. That is so unoriginal and in general just blocks the opportunity for things to unfold organically. The most beautiful and unexpected things usually transpire without force. God is so spontaneous.

“Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do the skins will burst, the wine will run out, and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into the new wineskins, and both are preserved.”

-Mathew 9:14-17

I am enveloped in completely new surroundings which I think is symbolic to what God is doing in me. From the climate, to the types of people that fill my daily life, nothing is the same as seasons prior.

I am being pressed in an entirely new environment, and will thus produce a sort of spiritual wine with unprecedented flavor. What God is working up is so sweet and unlike anything I have experienced before. His divine love and beauty are always providing new glimpses into hope. Yes I have seen glimmers of eternal hope, and been given peeks into his glory. What a joy to behold love on the throne.

Yea, the love of God is immeasurable and his beauty cannot be replicated. Even to speak of Him is so humbling.

My surrender is much deeper today that it was yesterday l, because deep is always calling unto to deep and God—to think that He could ever long for anything— is asking for more of me. I do not hesitate the way I did in seasons prior because I understand that “to live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21).”

I did not write this to speak in poetic mysteries, but to say that to let go and let life unfold is to really feast. The Holy Spirit is like a current, and to remain in the flow is to move in the direction of life. This is not about duplicating yesterday, because although yesterday’s wine was tasteful and soothing to the soul—what a joy it was, it has spoiled already. Today is what we have. Let us live fully and most presently in today, and be grateful that we can be called sons and daughters. Let us be grateful that we can even utter his name on our lips.

Amen to the highest King.

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Points of Wisdom (Axioms)

  • Christ will always meet you where you are. Wherever you are…Christ will meet you.
  • God is always going deeper into our hearts. He always wants more of us, and for us to have more in Him.
  • A walk with Christ is a love story of deep calling unto deep.
  • Inhale Christ at every turn.
  • You are a light in a dark room, and a city on a hill. Let nothing dim you.
  • Christ is the beginning and the end of everything.
  • Prayer is what keeps your pulse in sink with the very heartbeat of God. Pray to know Him and open in prayer so that you may be known by Him!
  • He will never drive away those who are in his hand.
  • Keep coming closer, even if you do not recognize him in the storm.
  • Every situation is working toward your good.
  • Striving is not necessary. His yoke is easy and his burden is light.
  • At first the Sabbath was a command, but now we have Christ as our sabbath and so rest is our reality.
  • Worship with all your being. Hold nothing back.
  • In Christ your sins are forgiven. This is the beginning of freedom.
  • Telling the good news is a gift to you.
  • Ultimately just let go, and let yourself be found by God….

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